Some thoughts

Hello there! Yes, I got hired by Eff-Jay Benji recently, but I haven't get my offer letter yet due to the CEO is on leave. (I assume)

Well then, I would like to share some thoughts over a book I've read , I mean I'm reading, called 'The A'. (doesn't want to mention the name and get bashed from the die-hard fans afterwards) So yeah, 'A' refers to the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet. It also has another meaning which is dealing with spiritual growing and self-discovery. Half of the book was finished, and I have some thoughts and my mind is running wild. So, I think of wording them down before I exploded. Just letting you know beforehand, the thoughts are negative, and I do not agree most of the perceptions of the book which told.

I do believe that we would have to grow spiritually in some day or some time and I can definitely tell. I am not sure whether is it my age, I do not feel a connection between myself and this so-called spiritual journey, or I should say pilgrimage. For now, in my personal opinion, pilgrimage is for somebody who is greedy and hunger for a salvation. They all have guilt, and they need a salvation to wash away the guilt they are carrying. I can see that the author is eager as well. He wants to know the past of his lives and understands the meaning of life. It sounds like an utterly holy behavior, but it's not for me. I saw his greedy and inappreciable thoughts through his words and journey. He has everything, literally everything that most of the people might not have or experience before, but he never appreciates it. What he's been doing is indulging... and doing things that don't make sense. Moreover, his pilgrimage has brought suffer to people, when he, himself needed this salvation, a spiritual growth.

I experienced something called 'A' before, like the book mentioned, but I do not seek for the underlying meaning of this deja vu, and the roots of its happening. I just simply accept what has happened to me and move on. Move forwards to the life awaits me. However, the author considered it as a sign, a sign for his spiritual growth, which makes me sort of... uncomfortable. He indulged in his past, neglected the present (to the part i'm reading) and worried for the future. I see him selfish in certain point, that he couldn't just look straight to his life with excitement and joy.

However, there are something I do very often, similar like him. I always position my head under the shower, listening the sound of the water, cut off everything outside the world, transmitting me to another world where only me exist. It's a ritual for me, unlike his spiritual thingie, I seek for a peace of mind. Somewhere I can completely not worrying all the time, and have my own little time.

To be fair enough, I think I should finished the book before I comment anything. So, let's see what will be going on.