hooray. i've finally finished the school exhibition. it held two days long. i'm exhausted bout that.On Saturday, i felt everything would be cool and wonderful on the morning. many people came to visit our school and maybe my counter *chemistry society*. and my group members were doing their jobs perfectly. i felt very gratified for their responsibility. Yuying came back to Chonghwa too! she did visited me. i thought everything was that wonderful as i expected, but it doesn't carried out. *sighs* everything did changed, but i'm still the same. hmm, anyway, thanks for coming back! =D but everything messed up at the night. i did knew mom and dad had a fight weeks ago. i thought everything will be fine and they will forgive each other, because we did made a promise that we will have a breakfast and dinner as the normal family will do. mom didn't mentioned too much bout their fight, and they didn't spoke to each other, even dad didn't ate the foods that mom's cook. i knew that, but i chose to disregard it. At the Saturday night, something happened. it was serious and my heart was broken. *i don't want to mention that too much* i was hurt and i cried so badly. i can't even controlled my tears, i called Reika. she just comforted me and told me be strong, but i was that weak. please i'm just seventeen, i cannot pretend that nothing happen. Sasa and Chloe didn't cried that day, they even scolded. i couldn't got rested whole night.
the second day, Sunday, the school exhibition still continue, and it is Father's day*sucks*. my duty is at 12pm, but i lie to mom that i have to back school for make sure my members can handle their works *sorry mom*, i can't stay in that house for a minute, even a second. i can't even breathe when i sees dad's face. yes, i hate him, i hate him treat us like that, i hate him for can't giving us a blessedness family. i see the beam of dawn, mom send me to school. the streets are quiet, and i ask mom "mom, if you and dad divorced. and you get marry with a new guy.. can i keep my surname?" mom stops the car and looks at me. she doesn't say anything, i feel very lost and desperate at the time. after arrive school, i call Reika to accompany me. we do make a conversation about something that i cried last night. i tell her that i am weak and i need a place to heal my heart, i need a person to support me. but Reika doesn't take much time to listen my thingie. i spent a little time with youli, her brother, and cousins *i don't who they are* i throw off the suffer things, i try to enjoy for visiting the exhibition. i stop my steps in the Japanese Society.
first, i love Japan! second, i have many friends in that society.. and i sees Kaeda is wearing Lolita style dress + a pair of high boots*it's more than 10cm* , beiyin *a super fan of Japan + comics + bl* wearing yukata *something like kimono, but yukata is for summer only, japanese use to wear them to participate the matsuri.*, yongzi *my buddy, a lovely guy* is cosplay-ing REBORN yamada , jedwin *another buddy, a nice one* is wearing the man's yukata. *haha sexy sexy*. then yepeng *yongzi and jed's best friend* is also cosing. i take photos with them too. then beiyin suggest me to wear the yukata and take some *yam* photos with her. yea, i do agree. i take photos with her and my coolest chinese teacher. hehe, many teachers think i am a Japanese girl. and all that, i also make sushi by my own-self. i want to praise and thank my group members, so i make a rabbit-shape sushi by my own-self. *i think i will post those photos up here next time*
time flies, when the clock knock at 11am. i leave there and back to my society. bla bla bla.. after school, i back home. i shut the door, and stay alone. i forget my meals and everything.. take a sleep. and wish a better day! Close my eyes tomorrow will be a better day!
i try to do many things for healing my pain. even though i'm busy and exhausted, but my heart still cry itself. my friends are living in a fairy-tale story as i envy and admire, but they don't appreciated it. mom wants me to get strong and ready, because they maybe will get divorced next year or the next two years. it's the time that i need to grow up, i have to cherish everyday i've been now. dear hazel, you need to grow up, you need to be strong. that's the right thing you must do.
dream doesn't come true as i expect, the reality maybe more cruelly that i think.
just like i have a dream that never achieve and i could never send.
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