friendzoned

yes, once again. i have been friendzoned. god knows what happened to me, what i know is i'm getting bored of that already. so i cried a whole damn day, and went to sleep. 


somehow, i had a rare dream. 


it was a saturday, i can vividly remembered. i opened my eyes which the clock hit 7, an ordinary morning like i had every week. i went to kitchen, took a knife and cut myself. i head back to my bed, and let the blood painted my bed red. i passed out, i guess i should say i was dying.eventually, i feel my soul were separated with my body. it wasn't hurt, just a lil nausea. 


my sister was the one who discovered me died. she screamed and knocked my parent's door. they were shocked, and started to cry slowly. i was standing beside them, seeing their reactions of my dead. 


and the next scene is my funeral. all my friends and unofficial.. my rivals and enemies were there. i couldn't read their emotions, because i'm afraid that i did see some of my good friends were faking to cry, squeezing their tears like they are truly upset about my death. but at least, my besties do cried for me, especially yenning, wern, and joysie. they keep whispering something to my body. it was too far, i couldn't hear. but they seem upset, which made me sad too. he's there too... but when i try to make eye contact to him, i awake! awaken from the bizarre dream.  


the whole dream was like the 'everytime' mv of britney spears. guess what? i keep on tearing after i woke up. this is strange. maybe part of the reason for tearing is about him, but you can't just ignore the bizarre dream i had. it just like a sign. telling me something, but will be a dejavu?
i will really cut myself?