Killing me softly

I wasn't happy at all for the cny holidays. Partially I knew that I have to school on the third day, but what ruined my mood the most was him and them. However, I'm not here to come clean everything today. I am just trying to vent my anger and disappointed on the blog. The "him" is a jackass, truthfully.. No doubt! He knows the game, is an expert. I am so dumb for trusting his 'sweet' tricks. I've lost my dignity before the game starts, I am the loser.. He is now mastering the game well and turning me crazy. The more that I care, the more I've got hurt. I hate the stupidness I own. I feel like run away the town and turn myself anonymous to start over my life. Even god tell me I should give up, but my heart is fighting against it. Should I let myself free and dragged into a place which I know I will get hurt? Or I should listen to the others give up everything and find a better one?

I'm sad.. Honestly.. You wouldn't know how much tears that I shed for the "him" he is a jackass undoubtedly. Why I couldn't control myself? It lets me think of some other told me earlier. What comes around goes around.. My emotional collapsed.. Why everyone liked to kill me softly instead of stabbing harder. I'm tired.. I'm crazy.. I'm not happy at all..