miracle?! it doesn't exist, but just my day-dream

Miracle doesn't exist, it just a part of my day-dream.

omfg. i don't mean to speak foul languages in my blog, but i just mad and huff. please forgive me if i spoke much. but now i am freaking mad. why didn't they tell me earlier? and everything will be fine if they told me soon! but now, everything was broke. i am so defenceless and lost. i don't know what to do. although my friends comfort me and tell me it doesn't matter, but my heart feel so guilty and pain. my parents pained me in such a way, my heart broke. i felt like i didn't recongnized them when we had an altercation.

my madness start with.........
4axin 08' was a coorperative class and members of our class were sorta like brothers and sisters. so our dear form teacher held a class trip, most of us were participated. it was a splendiferous memory, so we decided to have one this year. but as everyone's prediction, our friendship weren't as well then, and the trip was cancelled, none of them spoke about that anymore. apparently, i, didn't wanna that happen, so i started scheming some plans with my earnest and wish everyone will gather again. i've told my parents about my plan and they didn't denied. now, everything is prepared. but my parents wanna me call quit in a sudden. why? becuase they think that it is danger or what else. i don't fucking care what they figuring. but i just hate that, i mean, u can stop me when im started to scheming something. but now, how can i being so irresponsible? i don't understand and don't dare to understand. u taught me to be responsible for everything, but now u confused urself.

i hate that. i feel like been betrayed by u. as my stance, i think u're cruel and erratic. u r the executive, so u don't know me. u just control my entire life. i wan to choose the course that i like, but u ignore me. obey? there's no obey in my life. my road must be under my own control! pissed off!!!